


dedicated to the one i love

by maybemaybenottt



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:26:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28391631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybemaybenottt/pseuds/maybemaybenottt
Summary: Eddie discovers a letter he wasn't meant to find.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 56
Kudos: 427





	dedicated to the one i love

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the song of the same name by The Mamas & The Papas.

_ Dear Eddie,  _

_ When I told Maddie how I felt about you, she suggested I write it down. In a letter, or just a note -not to send, just to help me sort out my feelings.  _

_ The problem is, though, that I've already got them all figured out. I just don't know how to tell you.  _

_ And that's probably mostly because I have no clue if you'd want me to. Sometimes I think you do. You look at me for a little too long, or flash me that smile that seems to be only reserved for me (though that could just be wishful thinking on my part). Sometimes we sit a bit too close together, and your touch lingers a bit too long, and I think maybe. Just maybe, he feels the way I do.  _

_ But then the moment is gone, and that doubt creeps in, and I don't know what to think anymore.  _

_ Because it would change everything, wouldn't it? Even if we tried not to let it, things would be different. It could be bad, or good, I suppose, depending on your reaction, but different nonetheless. And when we've got such a good thing going here -a life together already- would it really be worth it to risk all of that?  _

_ I don't know. I really don't. There are so many questions swimming around my mind and I don't have an answer to a single one of them.  _

_ All I know is that I love you. I have no clue if I'll ever tell you, or if I'll ever be able to pick up the pieces if I do and you tell me you don't feel the same. But I'm sure that I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. I can write it here as much as I want because I know you'll never read this. I love you, Eddie Diaz. Fully and completely.  _

_ Yours, always,  _

_ Buck. _

Eddie is frozen in place where he’s standing in the middle of Buck’s bedroom. 

He wasn’t supposed to read this. He’s not even supposed to know of its existence, but he’d come up here to borrow a hoodie, and when he’d shoved his cold hands into the front pocket, he’d been met with a piece of paper at his fingertips. At first, he figured it was some kind of forgotten receipt from a past trip to the store, and had pulled it out with plans to ask Buck what to do with it. But then he looked down and found his own name glaring up at him from the page, and, well. He couldn’t really help his curiosity.

“What’s taking so long?” Buck calls from downstairs. “The popcorn’s getting cold.” He bounds up the stairs before Eddie even has time to register the words he had spoken, and he’s suddenly there, right in front of him.

Right. Buck. Buck, who had been downstairs getting the TV set up for their movie night, clueless to the enormous shift that had taken place upstairs. Buck, who is not just the name signed at the bottom of this paper, but a real person standing in this apartment with him. Buck, who is… in love with him. 

Eddie can see the moment that Buck registers the letter in his hand; the moment that confusion morphs into realisation, which quickly changes to a wide-eyed look that could only be described as horror. “Eddie…” He starts, but doesn’t continue. Eddie doesn’t really know if there’s anything else  _ to  _ say, seeing as everything seems to have been summed up and scrawled onto the piece of paper in front of him.

"Didn't know you were secretly a poet," Eddie jokes nervously, raising the letter in his hand slightly.

Buck swallows. "Straight A's in high school english," he says.

Eddie nods. “Impressive.” He stares back down at the paper, lowering himself slowly onto the corner of the bed, trying to take in every word. He can hear the noise of the city, wafting in through the open window, carried by the breeze. But all of it is drowned out as he repeats those last few words of the letter, over and over in his mind.

Buck loves him.  _ Fully and completely,  _ to quote the man himself. And god, Eddie had been waiting for this moment for longer than he can remember. Frankly, he’s surprised it wasn’t obvious. But then again, he’d never realised that Buck felt the same, so either they were both extremely good at hiding their feelings, or just a couple of clueless morons. 

From the looks he’s been getting from Hen the last couple of months, he’s going to guess it’s the latter.

“No one’s ever written me a love letter before,” he says quietly, glancing back up at Buck.

Buck stares back at him, eyes full of uncertainty. “No?”

Eddie shakes his head gently. “No.”

After a beat of silence, Buck speaks again. “Look, Eddie, I’m sorry, I- I never meant for you to see that. It’s weird, we can just pretend it never happened-”

“I don’t want to.”

Buck blinks. “What?”

Eddie stands, taking a step closer. The cool air blows in again, and Eddie almost feels as if it’s pushing them towards each other. Carrying their conversation through the previously still air; surrounding them with the cold so that they have no choice but to be drawn to each other’s warmth. “I don’t want to pretend it never happened.”

“You don’t?” Buck asks, barely above a whisper. 

Eddie smiles softly, coming even closer. There’s not much space between them now. “No,” he says. “These are the exact words I’ve been dying to hear, Buck.” He scowls for a moment, glancing back at the paper. “Or, well, read.” Buck shakes his head in amusement, trying -and failing- to fight back an excited grin.

“Here, one second.” Eddie holds up a finger, and glances around the room, spotting a pen on the bedside table. He grabs it, scrawling his own small message at the bottom of the page, and hands the paper to Buck for him to read. It flutters slightly in the breeze.

_ Dear Buck, _

_ I love you too. _

_ Yours truly,  _

_ Eddie. _

Eddie closes the distance between them finally, snaking a hand around Buck’s waist to pull him closer. His cold hands have got nothing on everything that is currently radiating off of Buck. Heat, for one, but there’s also hope, love and amusement all dancing together in his eyes. 

“There’s no fancy metaphors or anything,” Eddie says, shrugging. “But I only ever got B’s in english, so.”

Buck just grins and pulls him in for a kiss.

Neither of them closes the window.

**Author's Note:**

> [come find me on tumblr! @deareddie](https://deareddie.tumblr.com/)


End file.
